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+--- Thread: Brother tormenting sister (/thread-699.html)
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Brother tormenting sister - Jaffa - 08-15-2012
My son of 5 with SPD is mind set on tormenting his 13 yr old sister daily. While they are off school it is even worse.
Today has been the worst so far, he is constantly talking, shouting, screaming at me for attention and if he doesn't get it instantly it gets louder and he throws himself on the floor, kicking anything that he can. He is constantly in motion some of it dangerously. He has been taking it out on his sister. He runs in and out of her bedroom, hides her things, this morning was her glasses and she couldn't find them. She wears them all day. He hits her, pushes her and stands on her. If you tell him off he puts his hands over his ears, cos he dislikes noises but he makes more noise than anyone I know. He also smirks when you tell him off and says ok. Then proceeds to do it again.
Any suggestions on dealing with this would be appreciated.
RE: Brother tormenting sister - Danielleloveer0210 - 08-23-2012
I have this same problem... with my almost 5 year old son beating up on my 10 year old daughter... nothing seems to work discipline wise.
RE: Brother tormenting sister - Jaffa - 08-23-2012
Know what you mean. I have to sometimes put them in separate rooms just to stop them.
RE: Brother tormenting sister - Danielleloveer0210 - 08-23-2012
My son hasnt been professionally diagnosed but im 100% positive he has this ive been trying for over a year to find out how to go about doing this any tips you could give me... as in who he needs to see...what type of doctor?
RE: Brother tormenting sister - Jaffa - 08-24-2012
My sons school sent him for an OT appt as they suspected he had SDP. Am glad they did as I have been banging my head against a brick wall where drs are concerned. They all said he was just hyperactive. Thy don't live with him.
RE: Brother tormenting sister - Indy1 - 09-27-2012
(08-23-2012, 03:29 PM)Danielleloveer0210 Wrote: I have this same problem... with my almost 5 year old son beating up on my 10 year old daughter... nothing seems to work discipline wise.
Hi,
I think these issues are very complicated to deal with, even with kids who do not have sensory issues. We are expected to teach our kids to control their aggression, even when they are under physical attack. Not like the old days, when physical fights among kids were generally just broken up if they got out of control.
Does your daughter fight back?
Sometimes i wish I had just let my son hit my daugter back when she was overly aggressive, even though she was younger. It might have had more of an impact on her behavior than parental intervention. Hard to know. I do think that my son's sense that he had to excercise self control all the time led to a lot of resentment and emotional pain for him.
Indy
(08-23-2012, 08:44 PM)Danielleloveer0210 Wrote: My son hasnt been professionally diagnosed but im 100% positive he has this ive been trying for over a year to find out how to go about doing this any tips you could give me... as in who he needs to see...what type of doctor?
A pediatric neurologist may be a good first step. Often there is hypotonia or neorological "soft signs". He/she can make a referral to an OT.
RE: Brother tormenting sister - ponyo11t - 10-04-2012
When I was a kid living with SPD, I hid and isolated myself and cried and had panic attacks, but my sister would be very aggressive and mean. She'd throw me down stairs, start fights with me, and when my parents refused to intervene, she'd smirk and stick her tongue out leaving me helpless. She's also 2 years older. Now that she's 24, and on mood stabilizers (diagnosed with bi-polar, but I'm not really sure if she is, I was diagnosed with it previously), she is much more passive. I am not suggesting you medicate your son, in my opinion it's a bad idea unless his well being is SERIOUSLY at risk and then I'd say you should rely on a professionals opinion. But, and again, just a suggestion, please I advise you to do your own extensive research, something like Ritalin MAY help. The best way I can describe how it works is if you multiply a negative number by another negative number you get a positive number, which is opposite. So if you take a stimulated mind and add a stimulating medication, you can get a calmer mind. But I'd advise you to discuss this with a TRUSTED professional first. I've taken Ritalin since I was 14 (8 years) and it helps me greatly!! But it may not be right for your son. Sorry this message isn't very clear about if it will help, but I can only really tell you that it has helped me.
RE: Brother tormenting sister - heather40 - 10-04-2012
I know the feeling! I wonder if it has anything to do with (this is going to sound weird) but (don'teven know if I can explain it) but a sense of security with that person. My son does this to his older brother all the time! When he gets too excited he just attacks him! We can't go anywhere!!! He doesn't do it to other people, just his brother. I know the love is there, he just adores his brother, but like he is a safety zone, and I just don't know how to explain it. He misses him to death if he is gone, when his older brother went ot camp he was so depressed it was horrible to see. Then he saw him and it was just chaos! He was attacking him and calling him names! I know he doesn't mean it, but it is like there is just no control and so far the only way I can get him to stop is if he knows his friend is going to come over and I can tell him he will have three warnings and if they are used up your friend willn ot be coming over. So, it is nice when I have that in my backpocket to whip out! Otherwise, it is just exhausting!
RE: Brother tormenting sister - Jaffa - 10-08-2012
Do people with SPD have attachment problems. I went on a training course for attachment and was told that being a prem baby and what his mum was doing while she was pregnant could cause this. So maybe he has an attachment problem too. Anyone else have it. X
RE: Brother tormenting sister - heather40 - 10-11-2012
My son is fine to go off and be with people, actualy I think he is too friendly! Maybe it is a problem with being able to express theerselves? I know this week has been a NIGHTMARE! Everyday he has been coming home from school crying! The name calling is amplified. FInally last night he was throwing his pencil while he was doing his homework, the tears just started flowing, this all started when his brother walked in the door from school. As soon as he came in his whole personality changed. He became aggressive, name calling, defiant, I took out his old punishment chart and takeped it to the door, tha treally set him off. This is just getting out of control! So then he sat on my lap and cried, he said he doesn't know what is going on, he doesn't know why he is so upset. The one thing was ( and this is important in their world) his brother won't let him play on the xbox! brother! So, we made it that he gets to go on for an hour a day. That made him happy,his big brother came out by him and gave him a hug. The rest of the day was BEAUTIFUL! They hung out together until bed time. I am sure it is just not the xbox, but for one night there wasn't any fighting. I try to tell my older son he needs to be different with him, things are amplified 100x's with him, he can't take being teased, you can't go past him and tap him, he takes it as you are hitting him and attacks, but siblings are siblings. So, we shall see how today goes. I am going to write the Social WOrker today, I told her he needs to be pulled more. HE hates music class, he used to like it when hey used intruments,but now with the singing he hates it. I was thinking about that and when we go somewhere for a bday he can't stand the singing by everyone of happy birthday. I wonder if he would wear ear plugs....I know he will put on the headphones, but I don't think he would do the earplugs. hmmmmmm