Thanks Sarah :3 I'll try keeping this updated frequently. Switching to first person now. <3
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During my childhood, I was unable to enjoy some of the more fun things a kid should do, like bike riding or heelie shoes. The few times I tried either, I usually ended up falling on my rear or my face, and everyone around would stare and laugh. At the skating rink, I fell so many times that the employees stopped coming to my aid when they saw me fall. I couldn’t stand back up while I was in skates, so I’d crawl from the middle of the floor to the exit of the arena on my hands and knees, with everybody stopping to stare and laugh.

In school, I was the weird one…

I’d get teased frequently for things beyond my control, such as my balance or heightened sense of smell and hearing. People knew things would annoy me, such as coming up to me and whispering to me. They turned around and purposefully did them just to annoy me. If they found out just how sensitive I was to certain perfumes, then they’d purposefully spray twice the amount right in front of me, knowing I had to sit still in class and I wasn’t allowed to walk outside.

Why were kids so mean? I never did anything to them… There were times where I even had rocks thrown at me for walking to the football field quietly. So many times I wanted to break down and cry right then and there, but I couldn’t… I had to keep it together- if I lost it, then the bullies won…

As long as I could remember, I’ve always had balance problems. I always felt unsteady; I’d trip over things or lean on something while standing still just to keep my balance up. Walking on uneven terrain greatly increased the chances of me tripping, but when I fell my hands would not break my fall properly- they’d fall too far out or too far in, get scraped or buckle under my body. Eating a face full of dirt or gravel isn’t the best thing in the world, really.

My posture has always been horrible, but it was never something I could change on my own. I slouched over all the time, leaned my head on my arm as I listened to the teacher talking, and had to have my back pressed against something at all times. During gym, or whenever I sat in bleachers, I always had to sit in the spaces where people walked. I had to have my back pressed against something, or I’d be leaning forward unwillingly. It almost felt like I couldn’t control my upper body muscles.

When I was younger, the topic of ADHD and me was brought up at some point. Quickly dismissed by my mother, it was never brought up again. Though each time I had the urge to run or jump on something (which never went right, seeing as how my knees naturally locked themselves up upon landing, rather than naturally bending to cushion the impact), or to throw myself on the bed, I always thought back to ADHD. The symptoms matched up occasionally, so I thought it was something I’d grow out of. But the more I got closer to becoming an adult, from childhood to teenage years and up til now, it only seemed to get worse or more complicated.

But, I never thought all these problems were connected to each other…