(10-16-2011, 01:20 AM)AsMom Wrote: As the school's OT tried to hold my daughter on her lap and explain the day's events to me, I just sat on the floor in the hallway and cried. I cried for my daughter - that everyday is a struggle, I cried for me - that at every pick up I hold my breath wondering what the teacher is going to report today, and I cried for the hopelessness of it all: I am doing everything I can for her and still it is not enough.
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I'm dreading taking her to school on Monday. No matter what I read and learn about SPD I keep thinking that if I was a better parent it wouldn't be THIS bad. And it's impossible to believe that the people around me aren't thinking the same thing.

I feel so desperate and so alone. (I am grateful that I found this site!) I simply don't know what to do anymore. Monday morning my daughter's special ed team leader will call me, and I am out of ideas. We knew this school might not be the right fit for my daughter, but at this point I have no idea if there is a good fit out there. I feel beaten down. I am exhausted from trying to be pro-active and prevent certain behaviors, and I am too tired to deal with the behaviors I can't prevent. I don't know how to help her, and I have no idea how to advocate for her anymore.

Your post takes me back to the nightmare of school days. I hated, absolutely hated, going near the school my son was in for 1st and part of 2nd grade. Every single day I was greeted with his crimes du jour; didn't matter that he was literally an A+ student, it just mattered that he didn't fit in their world. We pulled him out of school in November of 2nd grade, and he hasn't been in a conventional classroom since then. He THRIVES with homeschooling, and at 11 took his first junior college class. SPD does not mean "stupid" no matter what some people will tell you.

If you feel the way you wrote about the school, then you both need to get out of there, because your child feels worse about it than you do. I can guarantee that.

Back in pre-school days, we did a parent co-op preschool, where I stayed one day and watched him and his best friend, and another day his best friend's mom watched the two boys. The boys were quite similar in nature, so that worked for us. Is there any chance you can get your daughter in a co-op program?

I do think kids of 4 and 5 need social programs, which is what I think pre-K should be, but that doesn't mean they're ready to "fly solo" at that age, especially special needs kids.