Hi Vivian, your on the right track....I think your walking away and the counting works for these reasons. A) You are taking the attention away from his meltdown and not reinforcing it. B) The counting is actually serving to distract his brain and causing him to focus on something else...the counting. C) By shifting his focus he is able to start to calm down. D) Your approach is a kind one, and won't add to the fact that he feels bad about himself/and the world around him. D) I have found that when these kids go into these self-destructive modes the only thing that helps is time and space. This is what you are giving him.

It is a perfect response to his meltdowns. I have learned that talking does nothing in those moments. They can't hear you anyway and it is just more stimuli that they already can't handle. One thing that I might share is that I always made a big deal after my Micheal was able get through a meltdown. Some positive attention. They may not convey it, but these kids don't feel good about themselves when these things are happening to them. I found that letting my son know how much I loved him, etc....was a huge help. These kids are scared and frustrated, they are dealing with their struggles with the only tools they have....anger, tears, etc...Your counting idea is a tool that he is using, and that is good. I would not add counting backwards. The counting is serving as a calming method, you don't want to add frustration to something that works.

I don't know if you have visited my blog, qannie47.blogspot.com I have written it so I can share with other parents all that I have learned from specialist, wise people, etc. I feel blessed that we have come so far with my kids. They are doing wonderful. qannie