Hi TT,
1. This is very difficult. I'm told that his current teacher is the best in the school for his grade. The only other options with space in their classes are the remedial classes. We had to move him between schools every year for the past 3 years for various reasons, which isn't great for stability and letting him get used to one place and one group of kids. My cousin is a teacher and has sent me documents from the Department of Education that involve "inclusive" education being mandatory. So if the teacher doesn't start getting with the program soon I will ask for a meeting with her, the head of department, and if that still doesn't help, then with the headmaster, and if that still doesn't help, then with the Department of Education. I have asked the teacher for contact details for the person in charge of the Inclusive education program at the school but haven't got an answer. If I still don't have one this afternoon I will phone the HOD.
2. I'm so glad to hear that! I have somehow already started doing this.
If I can see he's having trouble thinking about his answers I'll make suggestions - like for what did he like most, I'll ask did they do a project or paint or colour something or cut and glue something, or did they do games in ball skills (phys ed). or did he have fun on the playground at break time. For supper, I try to do the same, offering suggestions of things I know he will usually eat. When he's really not coping I try only give him 2 choices between his favourites. You are right though that it gets tricky, especially with school stuff, to know whether he's just nodding or agreeing because something sounds plausible as an activity he would have done at school, or whether he's agreeing because they really did do it.
3. It just breaks my heart to know how hard this must be for him.
And that the people at school are not seeing it
4. If you are able - please can you describe various shut-downs, so I know what to look for and can better understand what is going on and try find ways to help him?
5. ummm... not that I've noticed. We try to get all our kids into bed by 7pm though so maybe he's already getting enough sleep?
6. Yes, he is definitely getting worse!!! He has never been as "bad" as he has been this year. There have been a couple of reactions in social situations which were really not ok and I find it just so HARD to try placate people when their 3 year old just started screaming next to my son and then decided they wanted to wrestle and pushed him as well, and then my son pushes back to get some space and they completely blow up because my son is older/bigger and "should know better". He DOES frigging know better, but stuff like this is just impossible at the moment. We don't ever say it's ok for him to react like this, but we can't exactly punish him to the ends of the earth for something he did as a result of SPD/SMD. And no, I'm not writing everyhting off as SPD-related, because I can tell the difference, most times, and when I can't some careful questioning usually gives the answer I need to know...
Can I ask why you're asking if they're getting worse week to week??? Is there a special significance to this?
Our new OT has recommended brushing 3 times a day at the major transitions (wake up, get home, bed time), and massages. He seems to react weirdly to all the stuff that should help for tactile - he liked the light brush she did on him first, and didn't like the deep brush and said afterwards his other arm felt "better" than the brushed arm... But there were things she did (like make a sandwich, etc) that I want to start doing at home.
I think you have a great point and I need to leave him be after we get home and let him regroup before asking any questions and about homework etc.
I've found a lady to make him a weighted blanket, and ordered one!!! Just waiting for weighted beads to come into the one place so I can pass these onto her and we can get that organised.
Can't wait for this!
Ugh the biggest obstacle at the moment is that with 2 other kids age 3 and 1, hometime is often really noisy as everyone is tired and hungry after a long day. It's hard to give him the quiet I'm sure he needs. But I'm setting up my old iPhone with calming music and thinking we need to give him 10minutes of listening while we settle the girls and hopefully get the house into a quiet-zone...
He seems in general to be having less meltdowns (I think maybe because I've gotten better at seeing them coming and heading them off), but the shut-downs are becoming a huge problem.
