Yep, adult here. The very best suggestion I can give is try to get evaluated by an occupational therapist who treats SPD. It sounds like a lot of your issues are touch based and an OT will be able to help you deal with that (brushing protocol in particular). In the Occupational Therapy section on here I did a post about how OT has helped me (I was diagnosed back in Jan - 30 years old and had no idea until now).

Find the things you do like the feel of, that calm you down (classical music? running your hands through pebbles? weight on you (a number of blankets, etc.) walking? low noise?), and use those to help you manage your life at the moment. Try to minimise the things that frustrate you. Talk to your husband about it, tell him that you do seem to fit a lot of the criteria and what frustrates you, but it's not 'him' that's the problem - it's likely your hyperactive nervous system.

Ask questions, look through recent posts here, and have a look at the resources/articles linked above the board, and the main site that this is off to educate yourself some more. Also look into the book Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight - it's a very illuminating read.