Well, I suppose I could have posted about this in the "Weddings" thread, even though it had nothing to do with an actual wedding. But here goes.

I went to my stepfather's 60th birthday party the last weekend. There was close to 100 people there, in a small ballroom. There was booze everywhere. There was talking, cheering, celebrating my stepfather, etc.

Well, first off, I obviously got very much overloaded seconds after going in there. Add in the fact that this party celebrated the life of a stepfather who loved to smack me around when I was growing up, and that makes things worse. And then there was the drinking - something I am trying to cut out of my life completely, and I have to go to a party where I am already overloaded and booze is readily available to every adult in the room. Add in the fact that my mother was demanding I went up before everybody and said nice things about my stepfather..... Yeah, it was not fun.

After my brief speech, I walked out of the party and spent the rest of the evening sitting on a bench outside, sipping on a bottle of water and listening to my iPod.

Everybody there seemed happy to see me around, so I did my best to pretend I was happy to be there as well. It was very tough for me.

So, that was a hellish night for me. I survived without a meltdown, but that was only because I stepped outside for the second half of the party and then hitched a ride home early with another relative. At least I did not tap into the punch bowl of extra-strong sangria that was prepared for this party - the thought did occur to me. Heh.

Sounds like you survived a horrible ordeal the right way.

You were "there" for the others that needed you there, without restarting drinking. I am impressed.

I agree with beck. That is really a wonderful victory for you. And I know what you mean about "saying nice things" at family gatherings; I stopped attending some holiday gatherings as an adult for much the same reason.

I am proud of you and for you. Good for you for taking care of your needs, too.

Good for you. That must've been really tough but you did the right thing.
=)

I just went to a Bar Mitzvah and the reception. I had several sensory challenges, but when I got overloaded I just left the room for short Naps/Rests. I came back to the party when I had recovered and no one minded at all. I know my husband preferred that to me staying eventually having a major problem in public.

Thumbs up for surviving such a situation! They're torture for all of us SPDers - well, most of us. But each time to stick it out and make it work, it's a great success. YAY!!!!

(08-31-2010, 04:02 PM)kaworuchan Wrote: Well, I suppose I could have posted about this in the "Weddings" thread, even though it had nothing to do with an actual wedding. But here goes.

I went to my stepfather's 60th birthday party the last weekend. There was close to 100 people there, in a small ballroom. There was booze everywhere. There was talking, cheering, celebrating my stepfather, etc.

Well, first off, I obviously got very much overloaded seconds after going in there. Add in the fact that this party celebrated the life of a stepfather who loved to smack me around when I was growing up, and that makes things worse. And then there was the drinking - something I am trying to cut out of my life completely, and I have to go to a party where I am already overloaded and booze is readily available to every adult in the room. Add in the fact that my mother was demanding I went up before everybody and said nice things about my stepfather..... Yeah, it was not fun.

After my brief speech, I walked out of the party and spent the rest of the evening sitting on a bench outside, sipping on a bottle of water and listening to my iPod.

Everybody there seemed happy to see me around, so I did my best to pretend I was happy to be there as well. It was very tough for me.

So, that was a hellish night for me. I survived without a meltdown, but that was only because I stepped outside for the second half of the party and then hitched a ride home early with another relative. At least I did not tap into the punch bowl of extra-strong sangria that was prepared for this party - the thought did occur to me. Heh.

I think you did the right thing by stepping outside when you felt you needed to. I have not been officially diagnosed as SPD, but I have always had some issues that could be thought to be sensory related. My two youngest kids do have SPD...anyway, recently I went to a dinner with my husband and a couple of his work buddies and their wives. I almost had a meltdown there...almost had a panic attack...thank goodness I was able to go to the bathroom and just take a couple minutes to myself. The place was extremely busy and loud, and I am super shy when it comes to meeting new people. And my husband's co-workers and their wives are not exactly on my level...not saying there's anything wrong with them. But I just could not get into their conversations. Then, one of the wives decided to refer to a child in her son's classroom as a "big stupid kid"...she said it like three times...turns out he has SPD!! I was appalled and told her my two have it. I think that was the worst part of the night...

Anyway, I say all this to let you know I understand how you felt that night. Thanks for sharing, it's nice to know I'm not alone :-))

Ali