That is great LAC1961! I am so happy to hear that she is doing better. Are you planning on keeping up with the heavy work activities during the day with her? My advice just from still going through the nightly/relax training would be, focus on during the day and get that down before moving to training when it is bedtime or calm down time. My one daughter is 4 and still in pull-ups due to her just not being ready at night. During the day she is fine.

But hang in there! I am so happy to hear that she is picking up on it

::Hugs::

Hello. I'm new to this forum and just saw your post. I know it's a month old but I have the same problem and I got the same book you mentioned. My son is almost 4 and 1/2. His problem is he won't wear anything different than his diaper, the book has a lot of good advice on that. We are actually able to get him to wear underwear under his diaper for short periods of time (gradually increasing the amount of time). I also use the scheduled routine, which works well but honestly is difficult to maintain that for several weeks so it's been very slow going. We just can't stay home for several weeks. The book says it can take up to 21 days. If your daughter does well for 2 weeks you might just have to keep on trying to get her over that hump. Plus, if she is having accidents maybe she really can't tell she needs to go or can,t tell until it's too late-because of the sensory issues. I think that is my son's problem too (other than the tactile issues of not wanting a pullup-too itchy he says). Plus, he has week trunk/core muscles which also makes potty training difficult. I think OT will help you very much. We just started OT ourselves. It's so good to hear that others have the same issue, before I knew that I thought I was a bad mother and didn't do a good enough job working on this with him when he was younger.

Good luck!

(08-17-2012, 10:44 AM)pickles01 Wrote: Hello. I'm new to this forum and just saw your post. I know it's a month old but I have the same problem and I got the same book you mentioned. My son is almost 4 and 1/2. His problem is he won't wear anything different than his diaper, the book has a lot of good advice on that. We are actually able to get him to wear underwear under his diaper for short periods of time (gradually increasing the amount of time). I also use the scheduled routine, which works well but honestly is difficult to maintain that for several weeks so it's been very slow going. We just can't stay home for several weeks. The book says it can take up to 21 days. If your daughter does well for 2 weeks you might just have to keep on trying to get her over that hump. Plus, if she is having accidents maybe she really can't tell she needs to go or can,t tell until it's too late-because of the sensory issues. I think that is my son's problem too (other than the tactile issues of not wanting a pullup-too itchy he says). Plus, he has week trunk/core muscles which also makes potty training difficult. I think OT will help you very much. We just started OT ourselves. It's so good to hear that others have the same issue, before I knew that I thought I was a bad mother and didn't do a good enough job working on this with him when he was younger.

Good luck!

I understand where you are, and it is not you! We have to get past this guilt monster together. At this point, I've tried everything, so I have nothing left but to stop trying. I glue pieces of fabric into her Pull Ups as the OT advised so she will still have the chance to "feel" when she is wet. The OT started listening therapy last Monday, which is supposed to help with potty training, so we're hopeful it will help. In the meantime, my daughter starts kindergarten in 9 days, and I can't get the lump out of my throat about her going to class still in a Pull Up with over 20 other kids being there. Her preschool teacher told me they probably won't even notice, but in my experience kids notice everything, and usually make a comment.
Do you find your son notices when he's wet, or will he just stay in it until someone else points it out?
Regarding his aversion to Pull Ups, I've found the softest and least irritating pull up style are Pampers Easy Ups. If you haven't tried them, you may want to do so. They are quite a bit softer than the other brands.

Thanks, I will try those. Sometimes he notices when he is wet and sometimes the diaper is practically off because it's so wet. I really can't figure it out. I've considered putting fabric in his diapers too but then the OT (and the book we read) said to wear underwear under the diaper. How did you find a school that will take your daughter not potty trained? I'm already thinking of other options for my son for next year. It was hard enough finding a preschool that took children not potty trained. He is the only one in his class that is not trained and it does not bother him at all. Hopefully none of the kids will notice. Maybe being in kindergarten will make something click in her mind and she'll want to get out of pull-ups! If we could figure this out we could write our own books and be rich. I hope her first day goes well, and that it goes well for you too. It's such an emotional day as it is without all these other problems.

I thank the Good Lord above that I didnt have any issues potty training our 3 year old son In fact, I think the sensory issues helped..he abhorred feeling wet

I did notice the last time I bought pull ups about a month or so ago that they now have pull ups that feel cool immediately after getting wet:
http://www.pull-ups.com/na/cool_alert.aspx

I wonder if that will help?

Good luck!

(08-22-2012, 10:24 PM)pickles01 Wrote: Thanks, I will try those. Sometimes he notices when he is wet and sometimes the diaper is practically off because it's so wet. I really can't figure it out. I've considered putting fabric in his diapers too but then the OT (and the book we read) said to wear underwear under the diaper. How did you find a school that will take your daughter not potty trained? I'm already thinking of other options for my son for next year. It was hard enough finding a preschool that took children not potty trained. He is the only one in his class that is not trained and it does not bother him at all. Hopefully none of the kids will notice. Maybe being in kindergarten will make something click in her mind and she'll want to get out of pull-ups! If we could figure this out we could write our own books and be rich. I hope her first day goes well, and that it goes well for you too. It's such an emotional day as it is without all these other problems.

It's public school, so I guess they don't have a choice. I told them up front at the end of the preschool year that she probably wouldn't be trained, and their only comment was that the other kids probably wouldn't notice. The OT told us last week that she doesn't think it's the SPD keeping her from potty training, but that she's exercising her will. It reminded my husband and me of our foster-parent training, where they told us there are three things you can't make a kid do if they don't want to: sleep, eat and go potty. How true!

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(08-23-2012, 07:36 PM)Tam Wrote: I thank the Good Lord above that I didnt have any issues potty training our 3 year old son In fact, I think the sensory issues helped..he abhorred feeling wet

I did notice the last time I bought pull ups about a month or so ago that they now have pull ups that feel cool immediately after getting wet:
http://www.pull-ups.com/na/cool_alert.aspx

I wonder if that will help?

Good luck!

Thanks. We have tried them. They didn't seem to do much.

I didn't even know public schools allowed children who aren't potty trained. Why is it such a big for preschools then? I had such a hard time finding a preschool that would take him at 3 not potty trained. Anyway, my daughter exercised her will with potty training too. She would hold her poop in all day and at night would have accidents while sleeping (because she couldn't hold it while sleeping). She wore pull ups to bed. The pedi told me to have her clean herself up at night. Which was hard to do at 2 AM but I would stand her in the tub give her the garbage can and a pack of wipes. It took a while but I was finally able to get her to go potty before bed. She's almost 10 and I still have to tell her to go poop before bed if she hasn't yet that day! Your foster care training was so true, the pedi said the same thing to us.

Our OT loaned us a book about behavioral modification used for kids with ADHD. We started Friday morning and are seeing positive results. We never allow ourselves to get too excited. I think at least a month of positive results would have to pass before I could begin believing she is potty trained.

As mentioned in my last post, after much mustering of our courage and resolve, we finally bit the bullet and tried the behavioral modification method recommended in the ADHD book from the OT. We started on August 31st. We are cautiously optimistic so far. Of the 18 days completed, we've had two with no accidents, three with more than four accidents, and the rest with one or two accidents. I'm always a little afraid to post a good report because, although I'm not normally superstitious, it always seems to fall apart when I say it's looking good. For the first time since we first attempted potty training at 35 months, she's going to the bathroom on her own when she wakes up in the morning. She wears training pants with a rubber outer layer to bed, and she doesn't stay dry all night, but she's getting into the bathroom on her own when she wakes up, cleans herself up and goes to the toilet--that is quite an accomplishment. Thanks to so many of you who have encouraged me and given me words of advice. I'll keep you posted.

We're still hanging in there. In the last two weeks, we had three dry days, two with two accidents and the rest with one accident per day. Unlike all the other methods we've tried, it is not getting worse, so we're still feeling optimistic. Last night she asked if she could wear a pull up to bed, and I reminded her, "we're never buying pull ups again." She ended up staying dry all night. The most important thing I learned from the book recommended by the OT is that she will continue to be persistent in the hopes of wearing us down, and if we give in after much perisistence on her part, she will learn to be even more persistent. It can be trying at times, but I am not giving in. It's also been very encouraging that my husband, her day care, her teacher, and I are all doing it exactly the same. I'm sure the consistency is also what's making it more successful this time around.